How to be Emotionally Resilient

Key Takeaways

  • As humans, we sometimes find ourselves in situations where our emotions run wild and stress gets the better of us.
  • Brad Waters wrote the article, “10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People,” which examines why some people are better equipped than others to handle difficulties in life.
  • By adopting some of these traits, we may be able to improve our own lives.

We’ve all had times where we’ve found ourselves overwhelmed by stress, uncertainty, and difficulties in life. During these times, our emotions tend to run wild and we lose our control over them. It’s not a good feeling and we tend to want to minimize the amount of time we experience this. So how do we bounce back from adversity and regain control of our emotions?

There’s a 2013 Psychology Today article by Brad Waters, “10 Traits of Emotionally Resilient People” that addresses this question. We’ll examine the first five traits here.

Number one, emotionally resilient people know their boundaries and regulate their emotions within those boundaries. They possess a clear understanding of who they are and they recognize that adversity is temporary and not something to define them. They know the difference between their identity and external forces that don’t apply to them. It’s a way of framing your viewpoint to avoid getting caught up in the emotion of everything around you.

Number two, they keep good company. Resilient people tend to surround themselves with supportive and resilient people, avoiding people who are caustic and discouraging. This is really important, as the company you keep has an effect on your viewpoint of yourself in the world.

Number three, they cultivate self-awareness. This can be a difficult one to achieve, but it’s important to work on. By possessing self-awareness, resilient people pick up on the subtle cues their moods and bodies are sending them, letting them know when they need help. For those who lack an awareness of their emotions, sudden changes in their environments may lead to huge swings in emotion because they weren’t paying attention to the cues along the way.

Number four, they practice acceptance. Resilient people understand that pain and stress are part of life. They’re able to come to terms with this, trusting that after they’ve gone through a difficulty in life, things will get better over time.

Number five, they are willing to sit in the space of silence without judgment. This is about mindfulness and clearing one’s head of distractions, not taking the bait of passing judgment on everything we see and hear. It’s a tough thing to do in today’s digital age, with information and opinions coming at us from so many different sources. We’ve become used to the distractions and may find ourselves avoiding the silence, but it can be incredibly healing to embrace it.

The article goes on to list five additional traits:

  • They don’t have to have all the answers.
  • They have a menu of self-care habits.
  • They enlist their team.
  • They consider the possibilities.
  • They get out of their head.

You can read more about the 10 traits and view the full article in the link above. These traits are definitely something to give some consideration to when you’re going through a difficult time or just trying to make your life a little better than it currently is. Until next time, enjoy.


Gary Klaben is in our Glenview, IL office and serves our clients who are now located all over the country. He has over 30 years of experience and is the author of Changing the Conversation, Wealth of Everything and co-author of The Business BattlefieldWhether advising his clients, mentoring his team, or coaching entrepreneurs, he is always simplifying complexity and motivating others to take the next action that’s right for them.

Learn more about TransformingWealth™ , our proprietary approach designed to get your arms around the big picture, so you can make informed financial decisions. Ask Gary about Coyle’s TransformingWealth Preview Meeting and schedule a complimentary consultation and start living the Good Life Managed Well™.
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All information is from sources deemed reliable, but no warranty is made to its accuracy or completeness.   This material is being provided for informational or educational purposes only, and does not take into account the investment objectives or financial situation of any client or prospective client.  The information is not intended as investment advice, and is not a recommendation to buy, sell, or invest in any particular investment or market segment.  Those seeking information regarding their particular investment needs should contact a financial professional.  Coyle, our employees, or our clients, may or may not be invested in any individual securities or market segments discussed in this material.  The opinions expressed were current as of the date of posting, but are subject to change without notice due to market, political, or economic conditions.

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